Family
by ally.enchantress
Summary: What does Alice go through during the first days after Edward left Bella? This is her POV on what Edward does and how his tracking experience came about. Regular pairings. Disclaimer: this stuff is the amazing Stephenie Meyer's. Me no own, so no sue!


Edward was completely catatonic, I swear. I don't know if it's possible for a vampire to be catatonic, but that was what he was. He had been sitting in his Volvo for a week and two days. There had been no response yesterday when I went in to see him, as had become my custom for the last eight days before. Today was the tenth day, and also the last day I was going to put up with this. He was _not_ going to sit in his car and mope while his family sat in Tanya's living room terrified for (and of) him.

I walked at a human's pace, letting him catch my intentions in my thoughts before I got to the car. I figured it was polite; that he could deny me entrance if he wanted to. He had done it before, but I had sat outside his door for the hour that I had designated for this.

_Edward, please,_ I thought,_ Carlisle's going stir-crazy without his son. Emmett misses wrestling; Jasper apparently isn't fun enough. Esme. . . Esme is frantic. I can hear her crying when she goes up to her room sometimes. Please come out— we miss you._

I reached his precious Volvo and tugged gently on the handle, making sure it was unlocked. It was. I slid in slowly, not wanting to scare him. I'd done that once by mistake and he had pounced on me, beating me to a pulp. I'd had to stop Jasper from coming out here and dismantling his Volvo piece by piece when I came back into the house with my sweater in tatters and my hair filled with mud and snow.

"Edward?" I whispered tentatively, hating the fact that I had to treat my brother like a time bomb.

"Go away, Alice," he growled. His voice was emotionless and I shrank away from it. It was the single worst sound I had ever heard, and I heard it for one hour every day now.

"Edward, please. We miss you. If you would just come inside and talk to us—"

His neck muscles tightened. "No."

I was surprised by how much the denial hurt. I winced visibly, not even trying to hide my pain.

We sat in silence for a long time. He was more vocal than usual, I noticed. Hopefully that was a good sign. I scrutinized him carefully, taking in everything, visible and not. Vampires don't lose or gain weight, but he seemed gaunt and haggard. It was like he was being held together by a piece of thread and the slightest wind would blow him apart. His clothes were dirty from not changing them since he got here. His hair was disheveled because he clearly hadn't moved from the fetal position he had assumed in the driver's seat. And his eyes, his wide, beautiful eyes were coal black with thirst. He looked like he was dying. If not on the outside, then on the inside.

I was immensely thankful I had brought supplies with me. "Edward," I said, my voice straining with the emotion of my pleading. "Edward, please."

"No."

I inhaled quickly and shortly through my nose, twisting my mouth and squeezing my eyes shut. He was my brother. I hated to see him like this, and I would put up with any amount of abuse, both physical and mental, to see him get better.

I glanced up at him, my eyes weak with the tears that could no longer gather beneath my eyelids. He was looking at me with a peculiar expression on his face. "Thank you, Alice," he said softly.

Oh, how I wished I could cry. Not being able to physically express your emotions was torture sometimes. He had thanked me. I had no idea if he was thanking me for my thought about putting up with his abuse, or sitting out here with him every day, or deciding not to buy him the pumpkin costume for Halloween last year. But he was grateful and I was glad.

I hesitantly projected my emotions to him and his lips quirked in a half-hearted smile. "You're welcome," I said.

He reached out and touched the back of my hand with the tips of his fingers, and I felt a jolt of happiness. This was the first time we had touched each other since I had followed Jasper to Alaska when he had attacked . . . but I avoided saying or even thinking the name. He seemed to be getting better and I didn't want to rock the boat.

"Here," I murmured, reaching into my shoulder bag and pulling out a shirt, pants, underwear, and a comb. "I thought you might want a change of clothes."

I handed the clothes to him, and he placed them on the dashboard.

I watched the way he was clutching his shirt sleeves where his arms were wrapped around his legs, pulling them to his chest. "If you want," I said, wanting so much to be helpful, "I could wash the clothes you're wearing now and bring them back. If you want to put them back on, that is."

His head, up till now resting on his knees, lifted and slowly turned to look at me, sizing up my expression. I wondered what he saw. Even I didn't know.

Moving at a snail's pace, he pulled his arms back and let his legs slowly stretch to rest on the floor of his car. His back straightened. All the while, his onyx eyes never left mine.

I looked straight into his eyes and almost lost myself there. The pain in his eyes was unbearable. And there was no pain in his eyes. It was a dead, dull, hopeless look that was, if anything, worse. They looked like the life had been sucked straight out of them and been replaced with lead. He showed no emotion, and I cringed furiously at the awful emptiness I saw. He noticed.

"What is it?" Even his voice was useless, defeated and numbed with anguish.

But I wouldn't answer him, blocking him from my thoughts by singing the first song that popped into my head: my favorite of his compositions.

He bit his lip and said nothing.

"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" I asked, hating the helplessness I felt with him.

He just continued looking at me. I couldn't look back; I just couldn't hold his zombie-like gaze. I consented instead to examining the interior of his Volvo, straightening my long black skirt, glancing at the house to see if anyone was looking out the window, anything that would help me avoid his deadened stare.

"No."

I flinched again as he continued to tell me no. It was maddening, but I couldn't feel anything except sadness for him. I had already said, after all, that I would endure the abuse I was sure to endure (and had already endured) during these visits.

_Edward,_ I thought in agony, _this is horrible. You're my brother. I love you. If you're hurting, I'm going to feel the waves from it. Your being sad makes me sad. Don't presume to think you can get rid of me. I already promised to go through whatever you wanted to do to me, but I wish I could see you getting better. That's all I want right now. It's everything, I promise. Just . . . please._

"Will you get out?" he asked.

This time I tried to hide how much that hurt, but something in his guilty expression told me I hadn't succeeded. "If . . . if that's what would make you feel better," I said in a pained whisper.

He nodded once, stiffly. "But wait here, please."

Now I successfully disguised my sudden hope. Was he coming around at last? "Of course, Edward," I said demurely, like a childish schoolgirl.

And, as he had wanted, I promptly got out of the car and stood with my back to the windows, facing the house.

And suddenly the house disappeared.

I watched as Edward got out of the car in the clothes I had brought him. His face still depressed, he took my hand and we ran together into the woods.

I came back to the present with a jolt and a big smile lit up my face. For the third time today I wished I were able to cry.

Sure enough, seconds later Edward emerged from his car, fully dressed and presentable in his new clothes. He was at my side in an instant and slid his fingers into mine. I looked up at him, his pitch black eyes, and smiled again.

He didn't smile back, but I saw the subtle relaxing of his jaw. He was better, at least, than he had been.

Without a word, I knew he wanted to hunt. And, not saying a word, we sprang into the beautiful Alaskan wilderness together.

***

_I must say, Edward looks a lot better now that he's properly fed._ I was keeping my thoughts to myself and he was studiously ignoring them. We were sitting together on a log that was lying across a gorgeous blue lake. The lake filled up a small clearing surrounded on all sides by trees.

Edward's eyes were now butterscotch, as were mine. I hadn't looked directly at him since the car. I was afraid of what I would see. But the pale gold was so much better than the blazing black that I had been staring into earlier.

"Thank you for doing this, Alice," he said quietly, keeping his eyes on the elusive fish below us.

I grinned. "What's a sister for?"

He had nothing to say to that.

And then I had another vision.

I had left the forest and was entering Tanya's house. Edward was with me, his face grave and nervous.

Back in the present, I grinned again. Oh how I loved my brother.

He finally looked at me. "I love you too, Alice."

"And?" I pressed, anxious to hear when he was going to bring this change up.

"Can I not have any secrets?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Well then . . . and . . . I've decided to come inside."

"Yay!" I squealed, jumping up and down on the log. Tiny waves sped away from the disturbance, scaring the little fish away from Edward's view.

And then I noticed something that chased my happiness away like my ripples had done to the fish. Whatever Edward said, his voice was still dead. But there was anger in it now, hinting at the edges. And a determination that scared me almost more than the deadness had.

_Oh no, another vision,_ I thought.

Edward was standing on the opposite side of the room from Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. Tanya, Irina, Kate, Eleazar, and Carmen were standing nervously on the sidelines. I was not there. Sound came next. I heard tearless sobs coming from above my peripheral, and they had my tone of voice to them. Edward was talking, saying he had to leave to find Victoria. Esme's face was crumpled with distress; Carlisle's smoothly hiding the pain that showed at the edges. Emmett was tense, looking like he was about to fly at Edward and tie him hand and foot to make him stay. Rosalie didn't even try to hide her anger and disgust. I looked expectantly at Jasper, waiting for him to calm everyone down, but there was no change. He was looking at Edward with a mixture of sadness and anger. Tanya's family showed varying expressions of disbelief and outrage. I had to admit, I was right there with them. Who was he to come back to us after a long ten days and then all of a sudden leave in search of Victoria? And why wasn't someone going with him? I was furious.

And then I was back. Immediately, I shielded my mind from his prying and took a moment to accept what I had seen.

"Come on, Alice, let's get this over with." Edward was back to smooth, withdrawn gentleman. I wanted to push him into the Arctic waters below. How dare he?

Reluctantly, I followed him off the log and onto dry land. We took one final minute to locate a couple mountain lions and drink again, but then we were off. I was now dreading the moment when we got home, because of what would happen mere hours after we all got reacquainted.

Frightened and hiding a sense of betrayal, of the nagging suspicion that he had used my kindness as an excuse to leave and find Victoria, I followed him home.

***

We arrived at the house after a trip in silence. His hand was in mine, but he was holding me, since my fingers were slack and unable to find the happiness needed to function. I fought to hide the scream I wanted to release. _How could he?_

We were at the door in milliseconds. I glumly reached for the door handle, but Edward clutched my wrist in tight fingers.

"It's polite to knock," he said.

I growled at him, but allowed him to pound lightly on the fragile wooden door.

"Alice?" Tanya asked from the other side.

"Alice and some company," Edward replied smoothly.

We heard her gasp softly before the door was flung open and Tanya was in my arms.

"Oh God, how did you get him out of there? Thank you, thank you so much!" She was screaming, nearly incoherent. I wasn't quite sure what to do, even though I had foreseen this occurring a split second before it did. So, I consented to just stand there until Tanya regained control over herself.

She smiled warmly at Edward and pecked him affectionately on the cheek.

I watched in my vision as Edward threw Tanya off of him. She hit the wall of her house with a sickening thud.

Coming back to the present, I squeezed Edward's hand in warning and he refrained from his actions.

_Thank you, _I thought. He nodded fractionally, his face still remote. His topaz eyes gleamed with what I supposed were thoughts of revenge. I cringed. As soon as the thank-you hugs that I knew were unavoidable were over, I would go away. I would hide from the world and wallow.

As soon as I had sufficiently thought this, Emmett came barreling into the room. He pounded right into Edward and started punching every inch of him. I winced unhappily as a few hit . . . well, somewhere that would definitely hurt a _lot_. Esme was right behind him. She and Carlisle used their combined strength to just barely wrestle Emmett from his brother so that his parents could hug him. Jasper approached with his eyes on me. I felt that thrill of happiness I always did when he was near me, and I sighed contentedly into his embrace. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and greeted his brother softly. "Thank you," he whispered in my ear. I leaned my head against his lips and watched the scene of family affection unfold before my eyes. Rosalie had come in and had a restraining hand on Emmett's shoulder. Her eyes were narrowed slightly, her face a little angry.

I felt a wave of disappointment pass through me. She just had to hold a grudge, didn't she?

Tanya kept her distance for once, but Kate, Irina, and Carmen encircled my family and formed a group hug. Eleazar hung back, but I could see that he was as pleased as his wife about this new development in the unfolding Cullen drama. Laurent stood slightly farther back than Eleazar, his expression cheered a bit, but I was under the impression that he was much happier about Irina's return to pleasure than he was about Edward finally appearing to get over his catatonia. I frowned critically. He really didn't care, did he?

And then, of course, everyone converged around me. Esme pulled me from Jazz into her arms. "Thank you," she murmured. I shrugged, my despair returning at the sight of her ecstasy. They all believed that the problem was over. That Edward was back to normal. I felt guilty for keeping this from them, but I just couldn't bring myself to crush the look of pure joy on Esme's face right now. And then the moment was over. She let me go and returned to hug Edward.

Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, they all kissed me, thanked me, and hugged Edward again before Emmett dragged him over to the TV to play video games on Tanya's state-of-the-art game cube system. I couldn't help but notice, and once I had I wished I hadn't, that Edward had neither hugged any one of his family back, nor indeed reacted at all to their obvious happiness. I heard him stiffly, emotionlessly decline everything his family offered to do for him. His detached, uncaring voice pierced my heart with a foot-long thorn.

This was too much. Extricating myself from Jazz's arms, I ran to our room and slammed the door shut. The silence was deafening downstairs as the whole party entered a shocked quiet. But I didn't hear any of it. My sobs were too loud for that.

***

Three minutes later, Jasper knocked on my door. "Alice?" His voice wavered inestimably and I knew he was uneasy. The last time I had shut him from our room was when we had been in Denali many years ago and I had seen him leaving me. I shuddered involuntarily and my wails ceased. I decided not to cry anymore. Crying wouldn't make him change his mind.

I did decide to ignore Jasper, though. I hated doing it afterwards, but right now I was too far gone to care. I spiraled into oblivion again with one thought looping slowly through my head. _How could he? . . . How could he? . . . How could he?_

***

"Edward?" Esme's voice shook audibly. I pictured Edward, standing at the door as he had in my vision.

I started crying again—I couldn't help it. _How could he? Didn't he know what this would do to his family? Besides, he needed to be with us! Did you hear that, Edward? I hope you did!_

"I'm leaving," Edward said, his smooth voice barely laced with impatience. A snarl pierced through my sobs.

"Where are you going?" That was Carlisle. His voice expressed barely-controlled pain and sadness. I wanted to kill Edward. How could he do this to us? How could he do this to Esme, if no one else!

"I'm tracking Victoria. We got James; I might as well finish the job." Oh, how I wished I didn't have to hear this. I increased the volume of my wailing, trying to drown out his voice. But it didn't work.

Emmett sounded angry. "When will you be back?"

I waited breathlessly for the answer, but I knew what it was going to be anyway. "I'll check in again in a few months," Edward replied calmly.

_Oh, God. Please no. Let this not be happening, please!_ I felt myself start crying again, but this time I knew I was literally out of control. I was having hysterics. And Edward knew. Oh, was I mad at him! I had half a mind to go down there and help Emmett tie him to one of the beautiful pillars in Tanya's home. But as I made the decision to do that, I saw that it would be useless. He would just break cables and iron bars we would use, and the pillar, too, and escape then.

A few more words were exchanged between him and Emmett. I didn't pay attention. But when I heard the front door slam shut and Emmett's explosive swearing, I got up, still crying, and unlocked the door. The click was loud to vampire ears and immediately I was in Jasper's arms. He held me protectively while I sobbed and whispered soothingly to me. He tried using his talent, which brought me out of my uncontrollable hysterics, but still I cried. I felt better with his arms around me, but not back to normal.

I lay cradled in Jasper's arms for days. I didn't cry anymore, but listening was probably worse.

Emmett was outside throwing boulders into the forest. His angry shouts echoed easily through the closed doors.

Rosalie was in her room, lying on her bed and grumbling to herself. I didn't bother to pay attention, but it sounded like she was cursing Edward in a mixture of Latin, Taiwanese, and one of the tribal languages of West Africa.

Esme and Carlisle were ensconced in the love seat in Tanya's living room. They were putting on brave faces and Carlisle was talking to Tanya and Kate. He was apparently apologizing for their family's behavior. I felt chagrined that he had to do that, but I wasn't ready to face the rest of the world yet. Esme had her head buried in Carlisle's shoulder. She wasn't crying, but she looked like an empty shell to me

Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar were listening to my father's apologies, murmuring acceptances and condolences in sympathetic voices. I silently thanked them for their understanding, realizing again that the one person who would know of my gratitude was gone. This brought on another wave of sadness and, assuming that he was out hunting, I didn't bother wonder where Laurent had gone.

_Oh, Edward,_ I thought, both angry at him and missing him. _What have you done?_


End file.
